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Post by cal125 on May 2, 2009 8:36:58 GMT
I've had two good ones text to me so far.
"Bored on the bus or tube going to work? Just pretend to be on the phone, chat away about your four week tour of Mexico. Then hang up and sneeze."
"I've been trying to phone the swine flu helpline all day and all I get is crackling."
Over to you folks, so that I'm not hogging the board, boom boom oink ;D
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Post by sonicsonal on May 2, 2009 13:34:19 GMT
how about this one:
Q. How do you treat swine flu?
A. with 'oink'ment!!
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Post by muz on May 5, 2009 7:51:28 GMT
The 6 other dwarfs regretted failing to see the signs as Sneezy eventually died from swine flu. I think i've caught swine flu,I've just come out in a nasty rasher... A man walks into the doctors' and tells the doctor, "I think I've got swine flu." The doctor asks him, "How long have you felt like this?" To which the man replies, "About a weeeeeeeek!" I was really shocked to find out about the first case of swine flu reported in the UK. Who would have thought that people from Falkirk can afford to go on holiday in Mexico. and finally.... So, the first cases of confirmed swine flu in the UK have been recorded in Scotland. No bad thing - at least Susan Boyle might start wearing a mask.  ;D |
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Huw Amai
Full Member
I'm here as well....see !!
Posts: 121
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Post by Huw Amai on May 5, 2009 11:12:09 GMT
NHS Direct have had to shut down.......crackling on the line !!.
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Post by muz on May 5, 2009 13:59:42 GMT
NHS Direct have had to shut down.......crackling on the line !!. Cal beat you to it! ;D Anyway... How did the dastardly pig cross the road? - The swine flu. Apparently my mate's got swine flu, I think he's just telling porkies, though. Apparently the first symptom of swine flu is that you get the trotts...  |
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Post by cal125 on May 5, 2009 16:35:28 GMT
Yes indeed! Repeated jokes can become a bit of a boar!
;D ;D
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Post by muz on May 5, 2009 18:09:25 GMT
ouch! ;D
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hibee
New Member
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Post by hibee on May 6, 2009 17:38:06 GMT
Not a joke but it brought a smile to my face. It was very apt the first swine flu confirmed was in Gorgie. Took me back when I was a boy on the terraces on derby day singing ' Tynecastle is a piggery' Little did we know then we were psychic
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Post by muz on May 6, 2009 18:33:42 GMT
Oh there is so MANY responses to this - but as the admin of this site, I'd have to ban myself! ;D So I'll settle for [glow=red,2,300]108[/glow]  |
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Post by cal125 on May 13, 2009 14:50:17 GMT
Got my Government advisory leaflet through the door this morning. Now we are all advised to have "flu friends"  I wonder if the greetings card industry will bring out a range for that? They do for everything else! I'm still surprised they haven't yet brought out "happy GMT / BST" cards for when the clocks go back and forward, as I think I've said before. Unless of course you can get flu buddy cards on Moonpig now................................... ;D ;D ;D how did that pig get into orbit around the moon in the first place? Yep same way as Muz' dastardly pig crossing the road, the swine flu...........  |
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Post by cal125 on May 30, 2009 11:14:55 GMT
Got an email today advising me that if I receive an email from the NHS instructing people not to eat tinned pork because of swine flu, to ignore it............................. it's so obvious, you know what's coming don't you.............................. it's just SPAM! ;D ;D ;D |
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Huw Amai
Full Member
I'm here as well....see !!
Posts: 121
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Post by Huw Amai on Sept 22, 2009 11:08:47 GMT
A bear, A lion and a pig meet. I know what you are thinking.....they ate the pig......NO !.
The bear says, "If I roar in the forest, the entire forest is shivering with fear".
The lion says, "If I roar in the jungle, the entire jungle is afraid of me".
The pig says, "Big Deal......I only have to cough, and the entire planet goes into mass panic !!".
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